utter nonsense

Saturday, November 27, 2004

hes like im not always a people person yadda yadda yadda.. but im not other people im his god damn girlfriend. he gets all the space he needs.. fuck 3000 miles right now.. all i ask is for some chitchat when hes online. thats not much to want. i know we all need time to deprogram and such, but im just so god damn alone here and the little bit of attention i get from him just makes it all a little bit easier. but i cant say that because then he thinks im depandent on him and im not. i just need some kind of conversation from him. god theres always someone whos in over their heads and why am i the one to always be it??

i dunno im bored, im in emotion overload (i really really need a hug right now), listening to only but ryan adams & whiskeytown isnt helping either... i know i got a lot of attention when i was there, but since ive come back hes like slacked. i cant help but think its something ive done or said. though i always think something is my fault. maybe deep down im an attentionwhore? but is it wrong to feel like im diffrent from everyone else? or maybe im just not looked upon the same way as i look at him??

fuck im just confused and rambling and rambling. but god damn. he couldnt even tell me hed gone to a party last night and wasnt coming home. maybe im being possesive and controlling??

i just wish i had a real person to talk this out with.. not aim, not a blog or a journal.. just someone to talk to.

edit: post #500!!! whoohooo!!!


posted by: Kerri at 11:39 pm
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