utter nonsense

Monday, September 01, 2003

i think i really want to convert to judiasm, but the one person (besides my loving boyfriend) who can help me with the process, is moving to israel for two years :/

im really nervous with this decision. i was never raised one faith or another, just told that god is in me and always watching over me to make sure im safe. and ive always felt that. i was never told if i dont do this, or dont do that, im going to hell. i was never told im an evil person, because ive never read the bible. i was just told, when the time comes, i will be able to choose my own faith and my parents will support me. im just nervous, because, at 26 years of age, my time has come to choose and i want to make sure im doing the right thing. alyssa would be great to have around and be able to turn to for ANY support i may or may not need. not only because shes jewish (duh), but because shes a female and and around my age. shes very active in the jewish community and i trust her. and within the time frame im going to convert, shes going to be gone :[

i have lots of questions about christmas (one of my favorite holidays, even though daniel said its fine to celebrate - the gift giving, the dinner, etc), i just dont think its right to do so. i mean if im giving up all aspects of christianity, that means, giving up the birth of jesus, who most believe to be gods son and savior. (which is something ive always had a hard time grasping. women can not get pregnant without sperm). and easter, though its not a big holiday in my family, we kinda just have a roast and eat lots and lots of candy.

i want to know if its okay to celebrate christmas as a family thing and not as a christian. and if i did so, would this make me a bad jew? because thats the last thing i want to be. if i convert, i want to make sure i go through with this fully and not half assed. like i saw on an episode of sex and the city (god help me for quoting that show), but one of the charachters on there was converting for her fiance. the rabbi asked her if she was going to become a vegeterian, would she occasionaly eat meat or would she go through with it all the way? you just cant be a part time jew, its either all or nothing. and i fully agree with that statement. but once you convert theres no going back.

my questions dont arise from fear of converting, or that im going to make a mistake, im just afraid i wont make a good jew :
i just hope when the time comes, i can do this.


posted by: Kerri at 7:11 am
Post a Comment