utter nonsense

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

i just really do love him and i shouldn't and i need to move on and accept his rejection. heh. life is hard. thank god there's a new nirvna cd coming out tomorrow. at least i can wallow in misery and listen to kurt.

yea, so i can't and refuse to admit to him i'm in love with him. i can't do it. i refuse to. then he'll have control and that's not good. i have to have SOME control here, don't i? he doesn't want me, basically, because he thinks i'm ugly. :( he wont say it, but basically eluded to it last night. that hurts more then anything. heh. i wish i was attractive and appealing to the eye. i don't have any chick friends to turn to for fashion advice, and i'm just not comfortable enough to turn to someone i hardly know to ask what to do. im just so awkward and unsure of things. i just want to be pretty and to be loved. is that too much to ask for from life?

yea, i think i'm going to go cry now.



posted by: Kerri at 5:50 am
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